Dear Caddy

Dear Caddy,

I can hear the clock ticking. Time—it’s been consuming me lately.  I wish I could go back in time, I wish I could change everything, I wish I was stronger. You meant so much to me, yet you only cared for, Benjy and Father’s sake.  I let you down though. I couldn’t take care of Benjy. I couldn’t even take care of you.  I was willing to give up everything and take blame for your promiscuous sins.  Father didn’t even care! I didn’t understand it then, but I do now.  I have come to the realization that I was the only one that could have saved our family name, but failed.  There’s nothing else I can do. I ruined any chance I had with saving your reputation. I chased off the only man that could have made an honest woman out of you. 

               I blame myself for everything. Tell mother she was right, Jason should have had this opportunity at Harvard. All of Benjy’s pasture money is going to be wasted. Wasted. Wasted on me. There’s no other solution for the past. I cannot go back in time and fix everything that went wrong.  It’s all I ever think about. I can’t take it anymore.  The only way out is to end my time here. I will miss you. Please tell, Father I never meant to let him down.  My time is over. I can’t bare the thoughts anymore. The water is calling me and it’s welcoming me. I finally feel at peace. Please do not blame yourself for my choice. Tell everyone I love them.

With all my love,

               Quentin.