Dear Shreve

This isn't a letter written from some tantrum that'll eventually lead to relief. My shadow knows it is time. It begs for it. This is out of your control, but I felt I should help you understand what I've done and failed to do.  You were a true friend, and you deserve to receive a letter just as my Father will. Please read all the way through. You won't be able to stop me.  I'll be gone long before you get this.
A deep, slick guilt has burrowed its way into me. I can't wash it off. I can't ignore it as it continues to pull at my arms and legs, making it hard to move. I loved my sister, and she asked me to care for our little brother. Instead, I took his pasture so that I could come here for some supposed betterment. My experiences then have been tainted through failing my sister in her one request. I can't live with that anymore. If I could, I'd give this to my other brother who wouldn't feel this way, as he cared for neither Caddy nor Benjamin.
This is not all I've done. Not only have I failed my family this way, but I have also failed to protect Caddy.  She disgraced our family and herself through her promiscuous actions. Dalton Ames. I tried to fix everything, to re-establish our family's honor. Perhaps it takes death to atone for what she has done.
I was supposed to protect my family in all ways. I could not do that.
Now all I want is death. I find myself stomping out my shadows. 
Understand it is what must happen.

Thank you for your invaluable friendship