Friday, February 1, 2013

Tick Tock


Father
You once told me that no battle is ever won, that they only reveal despair and victory is just made up by fools. I’m done fighting, there’s no point in fighting if I’m never going to win. I know you won’t believe me, just like you didn’t believe me about getting Caddy pregnant, but I’m going to kill myself. I will kill myself, father, I will. You told me clocks slay time, and I may be a clock. As long as the wheels keep clicking in my life, time will be dead. Once it stops, once the wheels stop turning I will be free, and finally time will come to life.
Tell Caddy that I am sorry, that I failed to save her reputation. Tell her that I’m sorry I didn’t take care of you and Benjy. I’m sorry that I didn’t save her. I didn’t save anything. None of it mattered.  I loved you all, and I tried but the truth is, there was no way to win. The battle is over, it’s time for the hands to stop ticking.
Sincerely,
Quentin

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